On one hand I revel in being single. I love having my own place, doing my own thing. If there is a mess it's mine and mine only. I don't have to fight over tv programming or music choices. I do what I want, plain and simple. Unlike the author of the article, when I see people getting married/having babies I don't covet their lives. Instead I get a Peter Pan complex going on, why would anyone want to grow up?!? It's so much fun to be young and single and free from responsibility (besides a dog of course). Yes, I would love to be in a relationship, now in fact would be great, but it also kind of freaks me out. Perhaps it's because I've never been in a serious relationship and at the ripe age of 29 it seems like it will never happen or when it does that will be the only serious relationship I ever have. And I don't want that. I want to seriously date a couple/few guys before I settle in for the long haul. I think it's important to learn what you really want, and who you are as part of a couple. Though from the few casual relationships I have been apart of, however complicated they may have been, I know I make a damn good girlfriend.
The author talks a lot about how her married friends are the ones who are most persistent in asking why she is single. In my case my married friends (one in particular) tell me to stay single and childless for as long as possible. I think they revel in my stories of drunken hookups and random adventures, which is fine by me. Though at the same time I feel a slight undercurrent of judgement and relief they don't have to deal with that any longer.
I've always appreciated the fact that my mom was never one of those people to ask if I have a boyfriend/dating anyone, actually most people in my family don't besides my dad (who wants grandkids yesterday). However I was slightly insulted when at Christmas she asked my 14 yr old (step) niece if she had a boyfriend. Why ask her and not me?? Is it because you don't want to remind me I'm single? Every once in a while it'd be nice if she acted like there was a chance I might have a boyfriend.
I did make one of my 2012 goals to get into a relationship, however i think it's hard to accomplish something if you aren't 100% behind it. I'm not sure if I don't really want one, or I don't think I will find someone, but I'm kind of ambivalent towards the whole thing. Yes, I get lonely. Yes, I'd love to have someone to share life with and to just hang out with, but at the same time I feel like I want these things for selfish reasons. I love my life- I like my routine and the way I spend my weekends, I like hanging out with my dog. To date you really have to give those things up, and that annoys me. I want to magically wake up one day with a boyfriend whose life intersects perfectly with mine. And I know that is not possible at all.
So single, good or bad? It depends on the day and situation and if you are being left out b/c you aren't part of a twosome. But for the most part it works, and I always have Gordie. :-)
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